People are capable of some pretty glorious moments when their level of singleness is peaking. However, SOME people get more carried away than most.

Here are some of the Internet's most single confessions, as told by redditors:

1. Keeping it clean.

Fried egg
Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

Didn’t want to dirty a knife to fry an egg so I bit a chunk of butter off the stick and spit it in the pan.

Only learned later that if you leave the wax paper on a stick of butter, you can unwrap it from one end, hold it from the wax paper side, and rub the open square end all over the pan to butter it.

Outlawe


2. Expert level activated.

WEdding seat
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

RSVPed to a friend's wedding with my plus-one as "Some Rando from Tinder" and she put it on a seating card.

The bride was my best friend and she was in on the joke so she wasn't out money for the plate, for anyone who was worried.

GoddamnDelight


3. Intentionally getting carded.

ID
Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

On my 21st birthday, I lived out of state from my family and didn't have any friends around. I went to the grocery store and bought myself a bottle of wine, just so the cashier would card me and at least someone would know it was my birthday.

JustSouthOfMars


4. Open door policy.

Bathroom door
Photo by Logan Ripley on Unsplash

Just vacuumed the wad of dog hair that I always miss behind my bathroom door because I never close the door when I use the bathroom

speedweed42069


5. We are wanderers.

Alone on the water
Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

Go out alone a lot, and do nothing but wander around hoping something interesting happens. Lets be clear though, Sometimes you want to go for a stroll. Catch some sun and some fresh air. That's not what this is about, lol.

In this case you've exasperated your room as a refuge from your absent social life. So you drag yourself out into the cold public by the scruff of your own crippling isolation down to the same shops for the same things that you don't really even want but it's the only way to justify why you're already this far. Then you can go back home to what ever it is that numbs the discomfort and at least no one can say you didn't make an attempt.

SiuMcclain


6. Silver Service

Cat on sink
Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash

Eating forkfulls of microwaved foodover the sink like a savage, then thinking to sit down like a civilised animal to eat but once you sit down theres only like one or two forkfulls left. So, you slowly eat that and then sit at the dining table by yourself for 20+ minutes so it feels like a normal amount of time to sit at a dining table.

Dr0dW


7. Class act.

Whatever it takes
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Ate $20 worth of Popeyes and drank an entire bottle of Champagne on my couch, under a blanket, watching Alien and Aliens, on Valentine’s Day, alone.

Cliffwich


8. Go to war with the army you have, not the army you want.

Unimpressed lemur
Photo by Michelle Phillips on Unsplash

I sat on the floor of my studio apartment eating leftovers straight from the pot at 5am completely naked the light in the fridge being my only light source.

Stugehh


9. Sharing is caring.

Popcorn in bed
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

My TV remotes had a space on the other side of the bed for waaaay too long

goatsofwrath_v2


10. One's company.

Messy bed
Photo by Felipe P. Lima Rizo on Unsplash

Ordered food to be delivered for myself that was easily enough for 2-3 people. Restaurant called back to say they had sold out of an item so I pretended to ask someone in the background what they would like instead. I've also ordered just wine to be delivered from restaurants many times and have acted like I was not drinking alone.

caring_gentleman


11. The Good Samaritan.

cat
Photo by Sam Burriss on Unsplash

I stole the cat that I walked past for 8 months on my way to and from the train station. The cats hair was matted. 2 weeks later it got sick and cost me 1k in vet bills because it had renal failure.

I called the cat Meow and had him for 18 months before his kidneys finally failed.

I am a perpetually single crazy cat lady.

zombie_slippers


12. Expensive Taste.

Dog
Photo by James Barker on Unsplash

I realised my dog ate better than I did so I started cooking meals for two, we had boiled chicken, rice and veggies almost every night for a few months. Life was so simple back then. I’m married now and we have proper meals each night, much happier married than when I was single but I do miss some of the shortcuts you tend to take when you are single like skipping a shower or wearing the same clothes for a few days.

Scorpionwins23


13. Big Spoon, Little Spoon.

You are worthy of love
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Ate dinner with a ladle once. Bachelor. IT'S BASICALLY A BIG SPOON OKAY?

You spend less time moving the food from the bowl to your mouth, makes eating so much faster.

This is typically a choice dictated by not by efficiency but having not done the dishes for two weeks and being all out of plastic spoons.

theyoungestoldman


14. Happy Birthday to me.

Hand hold
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Bought myself a cupcake and sang happy birthday to myself at midnight on my birthday

TonyDanzer


15. Bedritto

Alone in  bed
Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash

My bed has warped into a taco from sleeping in the center for so long

onishi87


16. If the shoe fits.

Girl in bed
Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Worn the same set of pajamas for three days and nights in a row during a long weekend.

That Monday I went into work and when I said hi to a coworker my voice wouldn't work and I realized I hadn't said a word out loud in 72 hours.

murderousbudgie


17. Give me liberty or give me death.

Happily ever after
Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

Took a dump completely nude with the door open while eating from a box of pizza on the bathroom sink. Pure freedom.

Turrbo_Jettz


18. Hey, it's a vegetable.

Pizza boxes
Photo by Evelyn on Unsplash

Ordered myself a heart-shaped pizza on Valentine's Day

iWatchCrapTV


19. Capture the memory.

Beer
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

On the night before my 21st birthday, I sat outside on my front steps alone and drank my last illegal beer just before midnight. A few minutes after midnight, I went to a bar alone to have my first legal beer. Then I went home and went to bed. I kept and still have the bottles from both beers (Corona), labeled at the time with a Sharpie.

Phillymjs


20. Do not covet thy neighbor's wife.

Drive thru
Photo by Terry Jaskiw on Unsplash

I once teared up because as I was leaving the BK drive thru to go eat at home alone and I saw through the window this 50 year old couple in a booth smiling at each other and talking. I’m a 22 year old man. WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?

Cottagecheesefarts


21. Persistence.

Alone on bench
Photo by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash

This one time I was single and then did that for my entire life so far.

JustGingy95


22. I am my own best friend.

Eating alone
Photo by Ismail Hamzah on Unsplash

Went to a movie alone, then went out to a restaurant alone afterwards. It was surprisingly nice though.

LegendJ1998


23. And the winning ticket is...

Chinese food
Photo by Pooja Chaudhary on Unsplash

Went out and bought about 20 dollars worth of Chinese food, and ate most of it standing in the kitchen. As a single person, I love ordering Chinese food because they always guess how many people are eating based on how many Fortune cookies they give you with your food. So far my single butt has gotten four in an order all for myself.

No regrets.

TheGoodJudgeHolden


24. Vegas, Baby.

Vegas
Photo by Kirstyn Paynter on Unsplash

Flew to Vegas for my birthday alone. Stayed in a cheap hotel and partied on The Strip spending money on Blackjack, ate at some restaurants, and buffets. Went to some of the funniest clubs out there, and met some fun people. Partied with them at my room. Then the next day I flew back home. One of the best Birthday weekends.

guyhabit


25. Valentines is just a number.

doctor
Photo by Michael Browning on Unsplash

Accidentally scheduled my annual gynecologist visit for valentines day because I forgot the date 2/14 had any significance.

*palindrome4lyfe *


26. A deal's a deal.

Wings
Photo by Atharva Tulsi on Unsplash

I wanted a medium pizza and wings for lunch from this one place, but the cost of the pizza and wings was as much as a combo that included a large pizza, wings, bread sticks, and a salad for pretty much the same price. So I bought that, ate the breadsticks and wings for lunch, and then had the pizza for dinner. And I threw out the salad.

mrkylematz


27. Feline Fine.

cAts
Photo by Cel Lisboa on Unsplash

Adopted 2 cats and made box of wine a part of my grocery list...

Waterslicker86


28. Time to change.

Heart hands
Photo by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash

Ate a bucket of KFC and drank 6 cans of beers in a night and waking up on my couch next day, seeing the TV is still on for some reason, confused about what happened last night.

daiyoung


29. Antiquated.

Antiques
Photo by Ann Kathrin Bopp on Unsplash

When I was studying abroad in Scotland as a 20 year old, no one wanted to go to the taping of an episode of Antiques Roadshow. I loved the show lol.

So I caught the bus from Glasgow to St Andrews [over two hours] and proceeded to pop up in the background of as many of the interviews/appraisals as possible, wearing my rainbow coloured beanie and trousers, to be more noticeable. I nodded and pretended to be knowledgeable. And SHOCKED when they announced the value!

The episode is randomly repeated on Aussie television and I still get bewildered messages from my friends asking if they saw me with a bunch of old people in the background of multiple shots of an Antiques Roadshow episode.

For a souvenir of my trip, I added to my tea towel collection with an AR tea towel.

derawin07


30. Prom who?

Prom
Photo by Robbie Noble on Unsplash

Instead of going to prom I bought a bunch of snack cakes, chips, frozen pizza, and doughnuts. I stayed up all night and played Forza Motorsport 2.... I regret nothing.

C0RNDOG


31. Need Beta Friends.

beta fish
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Told my beta fish how my day was for a couple months straight until he died. No roommates and no girlfriend led to a lot of lonely nights.. also cried all night when he died.

Fishing_For_Pandas


32. Single Goals.

Pizza
Photo by Michał Kubalczyk on Unsplash

Ordered a couple large pizzas, both for me, got a couple bags of chips and some soda. Ate all of it in bed over the course of 12 hours while watching Netflix. If I had been with someone else you could call it relationship goals but nope.

RestroomRavager


33. Hey, people need to know.

Empty apartment
Photo by Erick Lee Hodge on Unsplash

Whenever I order food for me that could feed a family of 18 I answer the door, then turn and shout "Food's here!" To my empty apartment.

FuzzyGreg


34. The Barbarian.

Steak
Photo by Alex Munsell on Unsplash

Ate a steak with my hands while drinking a bottle of mead and watching Conan the barbarian, sitting on my couch naked.

tee142002


35. IHOP you enjoyed your dinner.

IHOP
Photo by Peter Lewicki on Unsplash

Went to a crowded IHOP for breakfast alone and was asked if I minded sharing a table with another single guest. I was hungry, so why not. She was 20 years my senior and we chatted till food arrived. No more words as we both shoveled the food into our mouths and escaped the situation ASAP.

Minister_Of_Da_D


36. If the 6pack fits...

Purse
Photo by Lee Campbell on Unsplash

Went to see magic Mike by myself with a 6 pack of beer hidden in my purse

Jedi_Mama


37. Deals that steal.

Broken hearted
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Used a half off coupon for a lap dance. They were not happy. Screw you then dont make the coupon.

Humanoidfreak


38. Here's a new recipe.

Sriracha
Photo by Samantha Sophia on Unsplash

Heated up plain black beans in a pot, dumped siracha on them, and ate them with the big wooden cooking spoon.

Mf136202